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RE: More Jaguar Jokes

jag86fan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:55:05 GMT

Jaguar footballs are sacred objects and can be used against the supernatural because Josh Scobee kicks the hell out of them.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Ducky683 — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 16:20:50 GMT

Fred Taylor solved unsolved mysteries.

Reggie Nelson knows how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop.

How much wood can a wood chuck chuck or a wood chuck could chuck wood? As many as John Henderson leaves behind.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Jakobe911 — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:22:29 GMT

[quote][b]Fargin (7/14/2008)[/b][hr]The Jaguars can't keep lines on the field. Matt Jones snorts them faster than they can put them down.[/quote]

LMAO now that is funny...

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Steelo — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:58:16 GMT

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Greg Jones.

John Henderson never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Mike Walker does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks them in the face. Nobody follows Mike Walker.

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Quentin Groves to kill you...Fourty seven times.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

zachthejag — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:43:50 GMT

David Garrard is so good, Byron's mother wants to adopt him

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

KSoze — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 13:05:38 GMT

[quote][b]Ducky683 (7/18/2008)[/b][hr]He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at John Henderson… dies

[/quote]

I want to play off this one.

He who laughs first, didnt wait for Greg Jones to laugh and died. He who laughs last knew better.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

mcol126 — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 12:29:29 GMT

Scientists in the movie The Day After Tomorrow attributed a killer tsunami wave to erratic weather patterns caused by global warming. Little did they know the tsunami occurred on the same night as John Henderson's honeymoon. Don't come a knocking when Big John is rocking.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

jag86fan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:38:17 GMT

Oscar Meyer Weiners wish they were David Garrard.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Gabe — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:33:08 GMT

David Garrard has great taste and is less filling

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

40 — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:26:51 GMT

David Garrard can express Pi as a fraction.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

jones&24 — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 11:16:56 GMT

John Henderson clogs the toilet when he pees.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Gimli:-englandjag — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:58:18 GMT

Dinosaurs were not killed by a meteor. The O-Line just fancied a light snack.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

jag86fan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:11:53 GMT

Fred Taylor once won the Soap Box Derby with a real soap box.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

jag86fan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:06:06 GMT

Maurice Jones Drew can have his cake and eat it too.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

jag86fan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:02:46 GMT

Superman and the Flash had a race around the world. At the halfway mark they were both lapped by Rashaen Mathis.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

jag86fan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 04:00:29 GMT

Superman was actually sent to earth as a baby because that was the only way to keep John Henderson from eating him.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

jag86fan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 03:56:15 GMT

[quote][b]40 (7/18/2008)[/b][hr]

MJD laughs at superman for only being a man of steel.[/quote]

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

40 — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 02:36:43 GMT

R. J. Soward

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Bjagfan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:23:52 GMT

When Jack Del Rio got pulled over, he let the cop off with a warning!

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

40 — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:19:25 GMT

When Reggie Nelson yells FREEZE water turns to ice.

God rested on the 7th day because Mike Peterson told him to stop.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Bjagfan — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:08:31 GMT

[quote][b]JagBoy23 (7/17/2008)[/b][hr]Fred Taylor won’t ever get a heart attack, because a heart knows better than to attack Fred Taylor.

When Reggie Nelson looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can only be one Reggie Nelson.
[/quote]

those were Gold!

John Henderson wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the players on the other team.

When Tony Pashos goes to donate blood he declines the syringe and requests a hand gun and a bucket.

Fred Taylor played a game of Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun, and won!

Maurice Jones-Drew can predict the shuffle on his iPod.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

40 — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 01:01:05 GMT

A coward dies a thousand deaths, unless Greg Jones is killing him.

John Henderson can change a leopard's spots.

Rashean Mathis can put off tomorrow what should be done today and still get it done today.

If you are not part of the solution Mike Peterson will beat you senseless.

Oil and water don't mix because Daryl Smith told them not to.

Paul Spicer can bring ice water to people in hell.

Fred Taylor can cross a bride before he gets there.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Ducky683 — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:39:26 GMT

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at John Henderson… dies

MJD can bullseye a Womp rat with his T-16

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

40 — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 00:31:30 GMT

Tim Tebow wears John Henderson pajamas.

Little known fact: Rashean Mathis found Saddam Hussein because Rashean catches everything.

Reggie Nelson can split an atom with his hands.

MJD laughs at superman for only being a man of steel.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Steelo — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:59:09 GMT

In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be John Henderson.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. John Henderson was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

If you can see Justin Durant, he can see you. If you can't see Justin Durant you may be only seconds away from death.

When Greg Jones looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Greg Jones and Greg Jones.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Chooch — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 23:16:54 GMT

For my fellow engineers...

D. Smith can solve turbulence... And show his work.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Jagbuck — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:52:49 GMT

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Mike Peterson can touch this.

Champions are the breakfast of John Henderson.

The only time Jack del Rio was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

Vince Manuwi used to beat the crap out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stays a safe 30 feet behind him.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Jags_Raps — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 22:48:53 GMT

This is a classy thread evrybody...Just love it

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

EraserGirl25 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:28:08 GMT

[quote][b]The Mad Dog (7/16/2008)[/b][hr][b]2/3'rds of the earth is covered by water....the rest is covered by Rashean Mathis. [/b]

[/quote]

Hahahah, I think I just pee'd my pants.!!!

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Steelo — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 21:05:35 GMT

I'm gonna keep this thread going as long as possible.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Reggie Nelson lives in Florida.

Hellen Keller's favorite color is John Henderson.

If, by some incredible space-time paradox, John Henderson would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Greg Jones. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Greg Jones.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Jags02 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 20:32:19 GMT

Mrs. Jags02 has a joke she wants me to share with you...

The police just added a second charge against Matt Jones: Identity Theft. He was trying to impersonate a football player.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

mcol126 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 18:38:19 GMT

John Henderson answers rhetorical questions.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Gimli:-englandjag — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 17:25:41 GMT

When John Henderson was born, he slapped the midwife.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Gabe — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:53:52 GMT

Grandma got run over by Fred Taylor, not a reindeer.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Steelo — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:22:42 GMT

Fred Taylor won’t ever get a heart attack, because a heart knows better than to attack Fred Taylor.

When Reggie Nelson looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can only be one Reggie Nelson.

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Gabe — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 15:27:56 GMT

John Henderson has a bumper sticker that says:

"My kid can eat your honor roll student"

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

dfishel — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:22:17 GMT

[quote][b]Chooch (7/17/2008)[/b][hr]The city of Jacksonville decided to honor Jack Del Rio by naming a major downtown street intersection after him. After several weeks and many, many deaths the city had to remove his name from the intersection.

No one crosses Jack Del Rio and lives.

Fred Taylors favorite color is violet... because it reminds him of violent.

Greg Jones can strangle you with a cordless telephone.

911 dials John Henderson.

David Garrard has only eaten one Lay's Potato Chip... ever.

If life gives Mike Peterson lemons, he kills people with them... Mike Peterson hates lemonade.

When you open a can of whoop-a$$, Justin Durant hops out.

Brad Meester can watch 60 minutes in a half an hour.

Reggie Nelson is the reason Waldo is hiding.[/quote]

these were fantastic

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

JerseyJags7 — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:40:31 GMT

Branching off of what Zach said.

My man Maurice Jones-Drew is so fly...

(How fly is he?)

He went school shopping............and bought three schools!

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

zachthejag — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:21:29 GMT

My man David Garrard is so fly...

How fly is he?????

He is so fly peyton had his sac removed;)

RE: More Jaguar Jokes

Caldrac — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:16:32 GMT

Sylvester Stallone, Mr.T and David Garrard all went to heaven, and God was trying to decide which one of the three would be his right hand man. God asked Stallone "Why should I pick you?" and Stallone replied "I've done about 50 Rocky movies and 20 Rambos!", God banished Stallone to hell and said "One was enough Mr. Stallone". God then asked Mr.T the same question he asked Stallone and Mr.T said "Im a level 70 Mohawk Warrior and I pitty the fool if you aint a momma's boy!", God banished Mr.T to hell and said "Fool, I'am God, I have no mother, I'am the creator of all mothers in this world", God then asked David "Well, your the last one, why should I pick you to be my right hand man?", David quickly roundhouse kicked God so fast and so hard that it knocked him out of his throne! Then David responded by saying "****...your in my seat!" And that my friends, is how the cookie crumbles, and I'am sticking to it.